Of Longevity And Death...

Recently, my father lost a very dear friend and colleague. Almost a decade younger to him. Beyond their friendship, our families have shared pretty good times in the past. My heart goes out to the family and I hope they come out of this stronger with resolve.

But I think of my father now. He is all of 78 years of age. His physical health couldn't be better. He eats like an elephant, sleeps like a baby. Laughs, drinks, travels, reads. As if he has cut a decade off his age. He has a caring wife, a loving son and an equally respectful daughter-in-law. Looks like he has a good decade and more to cherish life. So what is the problem you ask?

Oh none, if you ask him personally. But I doubt what lies deep down. Does he feel lonely? Does he believe his time is coming up? What is going on in his mind? It is convenient and reassuring for us to see his ever smiling face. Yet, I will never know what he really thinks when he sees his buddies leave one after another, He may be thanking God for longevity and health. Or cursing him to let him go through the pain of loss of best buddies,

Longevity of life is often desired by all. But few understand the true cost of it. In the Hindu culture I grew up in, death is seen as a transition from one life to another. And so is not to be feared, The ultimate aim is Nirvana - state of pure bliss where the Atma (incorrectly translated to Soul) meets the Paramatma (The Supreme). 

So is death the ultimate aim? If yes, that would mean an easy escape. Let's kill each other and ourselves. There is no life and all Atmas meet the Paramatma. Then why do we live? Krishna relieves us from this confusion. He talks of Karma. A living being must perform his worldly duties. In fact, doing your Karma is one of the ways to achieve Nirvana. We must live our lives to the fullest, doing our duties to the best of our abilities; and then release it when the time is up. That ensures the cycle ends for a new cycle to begin.

However, between the start and end lies our whole reality. We give meaning to our lives through our experiences and emotions. We compare our lives to others' and rate on a scale of Awful to Awesome. We tend to want what our peers have. Education, job, pay, property, partner, kids. But when we start getting older, the mentioned things start losing their meaning. Because, by that time, we would have seen all the awfuls and awesomes there can be. At this stage, we still look to our peers. Some are still there, some are on their way to the other world. And you don't want to be the last person. So, mark my words, you literally start wanting death.

So longevity ensures that fear of death vanishes. Mind craves  to complete the cycle and let go. Wonder if my father is thinking on similar lines. I do not know and I will never ask. But all this makes me think. How long a life is too long? We cannot decide. Only thing in our control is do our Karma, wait it out and pray to God that is should be full - not short, not long, just enough. Someone has said, it is lonely at the top. I add, it is lonely too far as well.